I am so sorry I haven’t been in touch for so long. The nice people at the institution where I live said they didn’t have any pens left, which is very strange because how do they write then? And I know they do because I have seen her coming into my room with notepads but not with pens.
I don’t know dear, I’m just a silly old woman, so what do I know?
I’m not sure when was the last time I wrote to you. My head is a bit on the wobbly side at the moment. They keep giving me those pills to stop the headaches, but I keep waking up in the middle of the night with horrible nightmares.
I don’t know why they are there but they are very bad and when I remember what they are, they just vanish from my head again! It’s most strange. I wish I could tell you what they are and that they went away. I really can’t remember my last good night sleep.
The last one had teeth I think and there were colours that made my head hurt
The fact is that you should be careful. I don’t know if you’ll get this letter or not because I know that she reads them all and I know not every letter I have written in the last two months have reached their destination. Otherwise why wouldn’t you have contacted me after all this time? We have worked together many a times and you have witnessed nearly as many things as I have so I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t get back to me. I am sure you would, so the letters are not reaching you and I want her to know that I know and that you know too.
I just have to make sure you know and that you tell Thomas in the club and my wife. I don’t know what they have told my wife but she hasn’t been here either. She told me that my wife went to see my grandmother, but that is impossible. She’s been dead for nearly 20 years but both you and I have seen things that
Oh dear, I am so sorry. Now I have forgotten again, just when everything was coming back.
Have you ever had nightmares? I think thinking pleasant things might put them away. I will think about dessert tonight, or that scarf I was knitting for Julia. She’s going to give birth very soon, you know! We are hoping it’ll be a boy. I’d love to have a grandson, but they don’t let me have knitting tools here. They say someone might get hurt again. But I’ve never hurt anyone, so I don’t know why they are so worried. I’m too old to want to go anywhere else and they give me food and books here so I am never bored. She asked me if I had read a book from this arab fellow; I can’t remember his name, but she said this book was very special and I had to try and remember what was written in it.
You must hide it if you find it. Please don’t tell me if you have found it because then she will know and won’t stop until she gets it. Yes, I know she’ll read this letter and I know she will probably spy on you now, but you must not let her intimidate you. She’s not as clever as she thinks, and certainly not as clever as Thomas; I am his older brother and know him better than anyone!
If you find the book, make sure not to open it without the proper protection. I can’t tell you what that protection is because she doesn’t know yet. If she did a lot of people would be in a lot of trouble. Though with a bit of luck she’d disappear into that horrible place I came back
Will you ever come and visit me dear? As much as I have my friends here and read a lot of books, I am tired of only seeing the other residents. Some are very strange and hide when I tell them about my nightmares. This poor woman once had a right panic attack when I mentioned her that strange colour I see in my dreams and
I think she’s coming now. Surely to ask me more questions and find out what I’ve been writing. Remember never to let her talk you into visiting here
I miss you very much, dear and I hope to see you soon.